With Valentine’s day coming up people feel pressured to get a date; to get the right gift for a significant other; to decide whether someone is significant enough for a present; (if one is single) to have some exciting plans to show the world/your social network of followers you have a life.

Then there is the worst pressure of all - to schmuv or not to schmuv. You’re about 99.999% sure you’ve got it and another reciprocates it, but there’s still that .1% chance that you’re wrong and you actually have no relationship and have simply hallucinated the last few months after a bad trip. But I’d rather have hallucinated the whole thing than to confess this dark secret and not have it reciprocated.

They say unrequited schmuv is the worst pain a person could experience, and with the days counting down on my calendar I feel as though my fate is soon to be determined. Like when you watch a trailer for an upcoming movie and at the end it says, “this film is not yet rated.” I always wonder what’s holding these critics back. I mean come on, it’s either real or it isn’t. I mean it’s either R or PG…

I know for certain though this is one thing you do NOT want to rush or push onto another. It’s just gotta happen. So in the meantime I can only pick the cutest outfit and wear the most alluring love potion, I mean perfume* and not go too overboard on the gift, and just wait….